Gosh, I hate thinking about money... was what I used to say, what I used to think.
Give me a good book of history. Let me dive into some deep theology. For crying out loud, give me some math problems to think about... but don't force me to think about a budget.
I think I had the idea that money is boring. That Jesus is interesting. That there are a thousand interesting things. But that money was boring.
My idea was that, well, I've got an engineering degree, I'm getting a law degree... what need do I have to really worry about money. Won't all that just take care of itself because I got a good degree and I'm going to get raises over the years?
The problem with this thinking, for me, was that it led me to a total lack of leadership in my family over money. I let Nicole pay the bills. (I take out the garbage and clean out dirty dishes. An even-ish swap.) And because she did this, I sort of had a general sense that she was the budget person.
But we haven't lived on a budget. What delusional assumptions I had made for years!!! What time wasted! Of course, we weren't living on a budget. We were just living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe not enough time has elapsed for me to even put that assessment in the past tense. We are, at this point, only slightly beyond the paycheck to paycheck. But she is quitting work next fall because Elliot is on the way, and she's going to stay home and take care of him (and Tilly).
So I assumed Nicole's got it on lock-down, and I don't think about it, and I spend money every day eating out lunch, adding up to hundreds of dollars. And when she wants new furniture or new whatever, I love her, I just can't say no, and what right have I to say no when I just bought a book, then purchased lunch during which I am reading my book...
So we realized that this can't work. The conversations surrounding that realization were fruitful, but also painful and not unaccompanied by a few tears. I won't say whose... okay, I will, they were mine.
Over the course of just two days, I read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, and I believe it has changed my life. It was a book I purchased probably five or six years ago earlier on in our marriage, when I had a similar realization about our lack of a budget, but at that time, not yet any willpower to really tackle the problem. Because the book was boring to me, I let it sit on the shelf. And for years it sat there. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I think I almost got rid of it a few times, skeptical that it would be one I'd pick up to read.
But a month a go I did pick it up. I may write a follow-up post about some of the specific things I learned by reading the book. But Nicole and I have been much better about budgeting in the last month. And money is no longer boring to me. I think what has clicked for me is the idea that if I am responsible, if I am frugal, if I deny certain things to myself now... then I will benefit down the road, my family will benefit down the road, and if I live life out of debt (paying down mortgage as quickly as possible), then over my lifetime instead of paying hundreds of thousands of dollars in interest on different loans, I can be free to put that money to good investment use, or better yet, send it into the world by giving. If I save my money, invest it in reliable places that earn better than the rate of inflation over time, my capital will build, and all that to the end that I will have greater flexibility to be able to give freely.
The habits of mind which seem to be required for this also seem to be habits of mind that Jesus would like. First, you have a principle of deferred pleasure. Patience. Waiting on something that is better. At the heart of this is the ability to say no to yourself, to deny yourself. For me, to not be subject or slave to my appetites.
Second, to practice good stewardship of what I have been given. If God gives talents (or money), he expects us to put it to good use. Not to bury it in the ground, and when he comes, having not put it to use, we just hand it back to him. What good does that do anyone? And isn't that ultimately fear-based? In the parable, Jesus expects a return on investment. What am I going to do with my time, talents, and resources? Hoard them out of fear, or try to put them to use for the Kingdom?
Third, I think there is an idea of accurately assessing worth. It seems like in a sermon deep in the recesses of my mind's past history that someone connected the words worth and worship. We worship God because he is worthy. It is good for our hearts and minds to come to an accurate assessment of his worth (which is supremely high) and therefore to give him worship. All over the Bible, when it comes to love, it is obvious that there are hierarchies, or places of relative importance which we must get right. Things go haywire when we get them out of whack. It is, in fact, sinful to get them out of whack. Wisdom starts with the fear of God, which is the flip side of the coin of rightly estimating his worth, by worshiping him, by seeing him for who he is and not simply who I want him to be. Wisdom comes by taking a good look at things, not sticking our heads in the sand, and making decisions about what things are worthy. All this goes back to the stewardship principle. What is the wisest or worthiest places to put my time, my money, my resources, my various loves?
So I think the upshot of my encounter with Dave Ramsey is that I have been shown myself in the mirror and realized afresh that I am a fool in many ways. But no matter where you are, you can at that moment and at that place repent of your foolishness and start down a different path. For me, as strange as it sounds, and also being fully aware of the Bible's warnings about loving money, I think drawing closer to God in obedience really does mean paying closer attention to how I lead my family in our handling of money. So I'm going to journey my way out of my self-imposed ignorance on the topic. And I may continue writing about it. Thanks to anyone who made it this far on my ramblings.
Give me a good book of history. Let me dive into some deep theology. For crying out loud, give me some math problems to think about... but don't force me to think about a budget.
I think I had the idea that money is boring. That Jesus is interesting. That there are a thousand interesting things. But that money was boring.
My idea was that, well, I've got an engineering degree, I'm getting a law degree... what need do I have to really worry about money. Won't all that just take care of itself because I got a good degree and I'm going to get raises over the years?
The problem with this thinking, for me, was that it led me to a total lack of leadership in my family over money. I let Nicole pay the bills. (I take out the garbage and clean out dirty dishes. An even-ish swap.) And because she did this, I sort of had a general sense that she was the budget person.
But we haven't lived on a budget. What delusional assumptions I had made for years!!! What time wasted! Of course, we weren't living on a budget. We were just living paycheck to paycheck. Maybe not enough time has elapsed for me to even put that assessment in the past tense. We are, at this point, only slightly beyond the paycheck to paycheck. But she is quitting work next fall because Elliot is on the way, and she's going to stay home and take care of him (and Tilly).
So I assumed Nicole's got it on lock-down, and I don't think about it, and I spend money every day eating out lunch, adding up to hundreds of dollars. And when she wants new furniture or new whatever, I love her, I just can't say no, and what right have I to say no when I just bought a book, then purchased lunch during which I am reading my book...
So we realized that this can't work. The conversations surrounding that realization were fruitful, but also painful and not unaccompanied by a few tears. I won't say whose... okay, I will, they were mine.
Over the course of just two days, I read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, and I believe it has changed my life. It was a book I purchased probably five or six years ago earlier on in our marriage, when I had a similar realization about our lack of a budget, but at that time, not yet any willpower to really tackle the problem. Because the book was boring to me, I let it sit on the shelf. And for years it sat there. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I think I almost got rid of it a few times, skeptical that it would be one I'd pick up to read.
But a month a go I did pick it up. I may write a follow-up post about some of the specific things I learned by reading the book. But Nicole and I have been much better about budgeting in the last month. And money is no longer boring to me. I think what has clicked for me is the idea that if I am responsible, if I am frugal, if I deny certain things to myself now... then I will benefit down the road, my family will benefit down the road, and if I live life out of debt (paying down mortgage as quickly as possible), then over my lifetime instead of paying hundreds of thousands of dollars in interest on different loans, I can be free to put that money to good investment use, or better yet, send it into the world by giving. If I save my money, invest it in reliable places that earn better than the rate of inflation over time, my capital will build, and all that to the end that I will have greater flexibility to be able to give freely.
The habits of mind which seem to be required for this also seem to be habits of mind that Jesus would like. First, you have a principle of deferred pleasure. Patience. Waiting on something that is better. At the heart of this is the ability to say no to yourself, to deny yourself. For me, to not be subject or slave to my appetites.
Second, to practice good stewardship of what I have been given. If God gives talents (or money), he expects us to put it to good use. Not to bury it in the ground, and when he comes, having not put it to use, we just hand it back to him. What good does that do anyone? And isn't that ultimately fear-based? In the parable, Jesus expects a return on investment. What am I going to do with my time, talents, and resources? Hoard them out of fear, or try to put them to use for the Kingdom?
Third, I think there is an idea of accurately assessing worth. It seems like in a sermon deep in the recesses of my mind's past history that someone connected the words worth and worship. We worship God because he is worthy. It is good for our hearts and minds to come to an accurate assessment of his worth (which is supremely high) and therefore to give him worship. All over the Bible, when it comes to love, it is obvious that there are hierarchies, or places of relative importance which we must get right. Things go haywire when we get them out of whack. It is, in fact, sinful to get them out of whack. Wisdom starts with the fear of God, which is the flip side of the coin of rightly estimating his worth, by worshiping him, by seeing him for who he is and not simply who I want him to be. Wisdom comes by taking a good look at things, not sticking our heads in the sand, and making decisions about what things are worthy. All this goes back to the stewardship principle. What is the wisest or worthiest places to put my time, my money, my resources, my various loves?
So I think the upshot of my encounter with Dave Ramsey is that I have been shown myself in the mirror and realized afresh that I am a fool in many ways. But no matter where you are, you can at that moment and at that place repent of your foolishness and start down a different path. For me, as strange as it sounds, and also being fully aware of the Bible's warnings about loving money, I think drawing closer to God in obedience really does mean paying closer attention to how I lead my family in our handling of money. So I'm going to journey my way out of my self-imposed ignorance on the topic. And I may continue writing about it. Thanks to anyone who made it this far on my ramblings.
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